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The fine line between inspiring and criticising

Polarisation has become more and more common within our society. Its definition reads: '‘division into two sharply contrasting groups or sets of opinions or beliefs''. While polarisation increased significantly ever since the pandemic has started, it is not a process existing merely as of then. Polarisation has been endemic to human civilisation.

We often believe our own morals to be the best compared to others that do not follow the same line, resulting in polarisation. Sometimes this results in us even sharing our dissatisfaction with these people regarding their thoughts or behaviour. Perhaps with the goal of having them adjust their behaviour, or showing ours is better. But does this help? And to what extent?

When I started becoming vegetarian, due to my shifting perspective with regards to sustainability, I found myself criticising others who did not eat vegetarian more and more about their behaviour. Whether it was through jokes, sarcastic remarks, or other ways, I was sharing my dissatisfaction regarding their decisions and behaviour. Of course, perhaps possessing the information that is familiar to me might help them change their mind. So I bombarded them with facts about meat consumption, the ethics behind it, limits to growth, air pollution, future expectations, et cetera.

Obviously, this became a bit of a mood and conversation killer (’das pech, gezelligheid weg’) at some point. And when I noticed, I started reflecting on my behaviour and to what extent it might have achieved something. That is when I realised I wanted to change my approach, seeing that it probably cost me more than it achieved. The first time I started about it might have been functional, just planting the seed in their heads. But I decided to continue with just showing by example, and giving rational, moral, and a clear explanation when they would ask about my decisions.

At some point, I started noticing that my family started adjusting their consumption patterns (mostly led by my mother who does the groceries <3), at this point only eating meat two or three times a week instead of the six times it used to be around 1.5 years ago. It was also very rewarding to see the surprise in the eyes of my grandparents when I told them that the meal I had made them (which in their words was ‘’incredibly delicious’’) was fully vegetarian, after she asked me how I tenderised the meat so fast. Just showing them by doing instead of telling them that it is very easy to make adjustments to your personal consumption, if you wish to do so.

I realise that showing by example and taking the time is not possible for many matters related to climate change, because it is happening very fast, and our changing of behaviour is not. But in personal spheres, I think all we can do is guide others. Guide through suggestions, advice, helping out, changing taxes (as a government), instead of forcing it down someone's throat without; which likely just leads to societal dissatisfaction instead of achieving a group effort.

My perspective on things often changes, and in a few weeks I might say ‘’lol why did I think that’’. Hence, I am always interested in hearing your perspectives! If you wish to share those, you can always hit me up for a nice conversation, as learning from each other is perhaps one of the most interesting things we can do. :)


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