To do or not to do...

I think everybody knows the problem, lack of motivation. Deadlines come closer, yet you still find yourself in bed watching Netflix and YouTube or scrolling down your timeline on Instagram for the 5th time this day. Personally, I feel like I can only remember the things I’m studying when I’m under time pressure. I will have to convince myself that I’m too far behind on work and need to get started. The feeling that I create with this tactic is not a nice feeling, but it works for me.

During studying I often dream away and think about all the fun stuff I want to do when the deadlines are over. I had to make some deadlines before the Christmas break and while working on them I was already planning out which things I would do during the break. Finish my book, start a new painting, finish my old painting, try to get better at roller skating, do some schoolwork to catch up because I was behind on work (which gave me some motivation ;)) and more. This way I made my own kind of ‘deadlines’.

The first weekend of the holidays I celebrated Christmas with my family. So, there wasn’t much time for me to do those things. Between Christmas and New Year’s, I had a few days to do the things that I wanted to do before I was leaving to visit my grandfather in Portugal.

I started a new painting (without finishing my old one) and only painted one eye of the portrait. I did finish my book but didn’t like the ending and didn’t feel like starting in a new book. I put on my roller skates for a solid 10 minutes before I put them back on the shelf. I did do some work for school but not as much as was needed. Instead of all these things I did do other fun stuff like, meet up with a friend that I hadn’t seen in a long time, meet up with friends that I do see on a regular basis, going for a walk in the forest, try to cook new foods and more.  Despite this, at the end of the holidays, I felt kind of bad that I didn’t do the things that I wanted to do.

Maybe all things I thought of seemed fun to me while studying but after I finished studying, they didn’t anymore. I often encounter this problem and I know my friends do so too. So, I think it is a very common thing for people and it shouldn’t have to be a bad thing. In the end, I did things that (in the moment) were more fun than the things I planned out for myself.

It’s important to not force yourself to do things that you enjoy because this causes you to resent it.

And maybe I will paint the other eye of the portrait during the next holidays :)

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